How to Feel Merry and Bright When Undergoing InfertilityTreatment

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The holidays can be stressful for many reasons, but especially if you are experiencing infertility. During a season focusing on children, it can be difficult, or perhaps impossible, to feel joy when the only gift you want is the gift of parenthood.

Even if you’re not really in the holiday spirit, there are still ways to find joy this year:

Ditch the obligations, but not the fun
No need to attend every party if you’re not in the mood, especially those that are kid-oriented or where relatives will ask intrusive questions. Still, don’t forget to have fun! Plan evenings with your partner or friends. If you can afford to splurge, try to attend a special play or event, or even schedule a weekend away to take your mind off things.

Celebrate with your infertility soul sisters
Chances are you know other infertility patients in both your ‘real life’ or through support groups or social media. Use the holidays as an opportunity to get together – even virtually – NOT to discuss infertility and to instead learn about each other in new ways.

Have an infertility gift exchange
If a party isn’t feasible, you can still exchange gifts with your infertility friends, especially helpful products or services you’ve used but they haven’t and vice versa. Comfy transfer day socks, inspiring books and nurturing gift certificates are all wonderfully personal gifts.

Banish guilt
You have a right to your emotions. While others might try to have a perfect Christmas or Chanukah, you can be true to your feelings. Say farewell to guilt this year and let yourself fee as sad and emotional as you like.

Give yourself some self-love
Buy yourself a holiday treat you know you’ll enjoy. This doesn’t mean spending money you don’t have. But you can use this time as an opportunity to give yourself some self-love where you put your needs first. For example, spend the afternoon reading a page-turning book or taking a relaxing hike instead of shopping at a crowded mall (plus, shopping online is so much easier!).

Practice gratitude
Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can be challenging when you have experienced failures during your infertility experience. But thinking about what you have – whether that be a great job, lovely home, supportive partner or wonderful friends – can be transformative.

Help others
There are many ways you can contribute to your community and people in need this holiday season. Even if you don’t have the best holiday this year, you can help someone have a memorable one.

Reconnect with your partner
Make this holiday exceptional for you and your partner. Reconnect and remember why you want to have a baby together.

Look forward to a new year
Though this may have been a trying year, next year will soon follow the holidays. Try to wipe away the memories of 2017 and look forward to the possibilities 2018 will offer.

Ask for help
We are with you every step of the way during your infertility journey, including in December. Sometimes, just talking to someone who understands, including one of us at HRC Fertility, is enough, or you might want to speak to a mental health professional. You can also find support group referrals at RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, or other infertility groups and resources.

Though it may seem like an eternity, the holiday season only lasts a few weeks and there will soon be a new year and beginnings. The staff of HRC Fertility will be ready to bring you the best possible care, and to do our best to help make your dreams a reality in 2018.


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